Suicide ! Why do people do it?

You may be depressed if, for more than two weeks, you’ve felt sad, down or miserable most of the time, or have lost interest or pleasure in usual activities, and have also experienced several of the signs and symptoms across at least three of the categories below.

It’s important to remember that we all experience some of these symptoms from time to time, and it may not necessarily mean you’re depressed. Equally, not everyone who is experiencing depression will have all of these symptoms.

Behaviour

• not going out anymore
• not getting things done at work/school
• withdrawing from close family and friends
• relying on alcohol and sedatives
• not doing usual enjoyable activities
• unable to concentrate

Feelings

• overwhelmed
• guilty
• irritable
• frustrated
• lacking in confidence
• unhappy
• indecisive
• disappointed
• miserable
• sad
• hopeless
• helpless
• lonely

Thoughts

• ‘I’m a failure.’
• ‘It’s my fault.’
• ‘Nothing good ever happens to me.’
• ‘I’m worthless.’
• ‘Life’s not worth living.’
• ‘People would be better off without me.’

Physical

• tired all the time
• sick and run down
• headaches and muscle pains
• churning gut
• sleep problems
• loss or change of appetite
• significant weight loss or gain

So what goes through the mind of a person who commits suicide,particularly MY Mind.

There is a real stigma associated with Mental illness,Major Depression often dismissed by society, in general,along with,statements like, get over it,pull your socks up,its all in your mind,your stronger than this,etc,etc

Then from Christians,its demonic,you must have sin in your life,where is your faith,?are you really saved,?have you repented?etc,etc,etc…..Yeah I heard them all and many other aweful comments,that actually made me more depressed

Many,many times due to the person experiencing the above symptoms,they are often abandoned by family,friends,colleagues etc.It becomes too much for them to handle on top of their own life’s struggles.

Upon these reasons,the person becomes suicidal in their thoughts,I’m a burden on my family,friends and family,society.For me,Having tried all sorts of help,medication,i was tried on at least 15 different anti depressants,had over 20 Electroconvulsive therapies(ECT),treatments,physiatrist,phycologists,cognitive therapy,counselling,both secular and christian.None of which has helped.

I would most nights goto bed and pray,Please God dont let me wake up,I cant handle this anymore.And be pissed off when I did wake up.

What went through my mind just before I attempted.

Simply I wanted to relieve,both the suffering I was suffering and the suffering and burden,i was on everyone around me..

Now you maybe saying,i can understand you wanting to be rid of your own suffering,but that is just selfish,inconsiderate,DIDNT you consider the devastation your actions would cause to those who loved you?

No i didnt,the pain and suffering,i was suffering and the over whelming need to be rid of it,far out weighed anything else.

That is just plain SELFISH,I hear you all cry…..

To ME at the time, how I was thinking at the time?

I was actually thinking I was being UNSELFISH,i was going to relieve everyone around me,of the burden,i perceived myself, to be to them,and strengthened by the abandonment by many friends and family members.They would no longer have to put up with looking after me.No longer have to watch me,a man who was once a strong,strong man,in mind,body and spiritually.

A successful business man,a good family man,a preacher/teacher of the grace of god.Who had been reduced to a lonely,helpless,hopeless,unhappy,broken man.Who no matter where i turned,there was no light at the end of the tunnel,there was after all the medical,phycological,spiritual help over an extended time period of several years.My history,said to me ,there is no chance of ever getting better.

So,I can fix this whole mess.I will be UNSELFISH and relieve myself of the suffering and UNSELFISHLY,take myself out of this life,and also relieve my family and others of the burden i was to them.

Did you read that?……..I considered suicide as an UNSELFISH act,which is completely opposite to what those who have had a family member suicide,who from my own hearing what other peoples, family members acquaintances  say.HOW SELFISH and inconsiderate He/She was.

Thats the whole point.Suicide is not a SELFISH act in the mind of a suicidal person.It is an UNSELFISH act in their minds……Thats just not right!!!!!!EXACTLY,thats why MAJOR depression and other mental illnesses are Real illness,just like any other illness,.You wouldn’t say to a person who has cancer,a heart attack,just dismiss it as,thats just not right,get over it,pull your socks ,get over it,up etc,etc.WOULD YOU ??
Just because it’s an illness of the mind/brain,which you can’t see physically don’t dismiss it as not being a real illness.Although many times it can and does have real physical symptoms,

More people,especially men die by suicide every year,than those killed by car accidents or cancer every year.

How am I now ?

I still suffer awfully from major Depression.I have been helped considerably by just accepting this is how i am and short of a miracle,will be like this for the rest of my life.Most importantly Gods consistent reminder to me Trevor MY GRACE is sufficient for thee.

Have I any advise to those who have a family member who suffers major depression and maybe suicidal.

1. Dont ignore it.

2. Dont dismiss it with throw away lines,get over it etc.

3.Get them help,medically,phycological,spiritual.

4.Talk to them,ask them questions,RUOK? (Are You OK)and actually LISTEN to them.